June 30, 2009
Why don’t people buy baby gifts off of registries?
Don’t get me wrong, we are very appreciative of any gift we receive, but my husband and I are having a baby and have included with the invitations a card showing where we are registered. However, we keep getting things that are not on our registry such as clothes and bathing products. We have plenty of those things left over from our first child. In fact, we got so many bottles of baby soap and shampoos from our first child’s baby shower that I doubt we’ll run out of them with this child either. We are in need of other things that are not expensive separately, but add up if you have to buy them all yourself such as a diaper pail, baby monitor, diaper bag, sheets for the babies crib, a mobile, bottles, a booster chair/high chair, etc. Most of our items are in the $20-50 range, with variations both ways, and there are quite a few items left to choose from. We registered for 44 items and there are 40 left. I hope I don’t sound ungrateful or rude, because I’m not at all. As I mentioned we really appreciate the gifts we receive, but I just don’t get it.
My question is why do people assume they know what you need better than you do?
The items on our registry are not seasonal and the reason we can’t re-use our diaper pail, baby monitor, sheets, etc from our first child is because she is still using them. Also, we are having a boy this time.
don’t appreciate the selfish comments. If someone offers to throw you a baby shower you don’t decline. That, in my opinion, would be more rude than having a shower for your second child. Besides, whoever said you shouldn’t have a shower for your second child (especially one of the opposite sex) is a fool. Anytime you would turn down a friend’s request to throw a party to celebrate your new arrival with your friends and loved ones let me know. Besides, it is a shower for both men and women and my husband is so excited because he gets to be involved this time, whereas last time only ladies.
Also, I’m not upset because people aren’t buying high ticket items. We have 3 things on our registry that are $50 or over & $30 items that are $20 or under. We are not being selfish or complaining because people aren’t spending a lot of money on us. I was just simply wondering why some people don’t buy off of a registry when you make sure they know that there are things on there you need?
Melvin
Comments on Why don’t people buy baby gifts off of registries?
Amir
Maybe the people couldn’t afford the items you picked?
Laney
It isn’t that they feel they know better than you… honestly it is more ‘fun’ for them to shop for clothes and such.
If you get stuff you don’t need or want, just take it back and use the store credit for stuff you do need. Babies’r'us has the world’s best return policy and they will even take back your 50 bottles of Johnson’s baby wash…
Alexis
That’s just the way it is. You always get tons of clothing and bath products at showers. Keep the receipts and just take back what you get too much of or don’t want. You can also try selling the multiples(if you cannot return them) on Craigslist or Ebay.
People always mean well and some just don’t take the time to look at your registry. I had people tell me they didn’t know where I was registered at even though there was an insert in the invitation. Oh well.
Kassandra
Some people find the whole idea of registering for presents a bit distasteful. Registries and “gifts” don’t really have anything to do with each other.
Jamir
I think that a lot of people don’t think you will be surprised as much if they get you what you register for .. because you can look at the registry and see if it has already been bought before you even have your party; the only real surprise is who got it for you
I think people just want to give you something unique and special so that you think of them when you use it ..
I had a baby shower with my son and it was kinda 50/50. About half got me stuff from my registery, the other half got him clothes, diaper bags and random toys. I was appreciative of everything, whether or not I had registered for it; it’s the thought that counts
I do always buy things off the registery for my friends, I’d personally rather get them something I know they want or need, rather than getting them something they already have or that 10 other people might have gotten them.
Carter
I bet a lot of people think that they would like to get you a more personal gift than something that was on your registry. It would be more like a “surprise”. Also, a lot of times those registries are difficult to read and of course they don’t have pictures of the items you are requesting so people just buy what they want to buy. Just don’t remove any tags and make one big return.
Congrats on your new addition!
Bruno
Maybe they don’t shop at the same stores as you do. I know lots of people who absolutely will not buy off the registry.
Thaddeus
i regeisterd,a nd had people tell me that it was hard to find what was on the list and that some things are seasonal… keep that in mind!
Shamar
For some folks, especially the older ones, the idea of a registry is pretty foreign. They may see that you are registered at Babies R Us, but may not fully understand that it means they can see a list of items you want and choose from that. One of my good friends asked me at my shower about the registry, having never heard of such a thing before. Surprise, his gift was definitely not on my registry! (Of course, I’m still thankful for his generosity)
Other times, people don’t want to be told what to buy. Perhaps they have their own gift in mind (”I ALWAYS give a bath set when I go to baby showers!” “I saw the most adorable outfit at the store and had to buy it!” “I’ve never heard of a wipes warmer before, I’m sure they’ll really appreciate my thoughtfulness!”). Some people may prefer to buy something off of the registry because they would rather exercise their creativity at finding the “perfect” gift rather than being given a list to choose from.
Perhaps the store you registered at is not in a convenient location for all guests to drive to, and they don’t want to order online, either. Some folks are still antsy about sending credit card info over the internet, and others don’t like to pay for shipping.
What’s important is that you do understand that people are genuinely trying to be generous. It can be frustrating, I know…but think of it this way–back years ago no one had a registry, so at least you’re getting some items that you really want. The other things can always be returned…or (gasp!) regifted or even donated.
Demetrius
I don’t know - I’m sorry you’re not having the experience with baby gifts that you hoped for
I guess - from reading about a lot of other moms going thru what you are - that I was really lucky with my baby and the gifts I received. I was clueless both about baby showers and about all the various baby items I would need, so a friend took me to register. I don’t recall exactly how many items I had on my list, but I know I was fortunate enough (and grateful) to receive every single item! I was quite surprised. I know when I shop for someone’s shower, I try to get some items from their registry, and then add something basic like diapers or wipes and then something like a small toy or book of my choosing. That way I am getting them what they wanted, but adding my own little touch too. I know some people, from my experience, are hesitant about registries cuz not everyone follows the directions as far as having items they buy taken off the registry, so I have actually seen many people receive multiples of items at their shower, even though they had set up the registry. Like I said, I’m sorry things aren’t going as you hoped. Maybe you will receive some gift cards so you can use them towards the items you don’t receive!
Steve
I liken it to the gift card phenomenon. Some love the idea, others despise it. Just think that you may receive a “suprise” gift that trumps all your registered items for usefulness etc.
Ezekiel
I find some conservative people (particularly those who are a bit older) do not bother with registries. Either the store is too far for them or they don’t use the internet, or both. Also some older generation members find registries to be crass (which I strongly disagree with). They don’t mean any harm but they are just set in their ways.
I also registered for the few things I need for baby #2, and I completely understand where you are coming from. Nothing has moved off my registry yet.
Brandon
I can think of several reasons (the store where you are registered being out of their way, or an aversion to giving a gift that won’t be a surprise) but honestly, these days, for a lot of people $20.00 is the difference between whether or not they have enough gas to get to work for the week. They can buy a cute outfit and a few bathing items or toy, all for less than that - or one of each for $5.00 to make it look like more. You would not necessarily know if this is their situation either, because many people are far too embarrassed to admit it - especially if they are not accustomed to living this way. Rough times!
The last few baby showers I’ve been to were abundant with cheap gifts from people who are all in decent to well-paying jobs. And I’m not talking about people who are cheapskates either - I know that money being tight has a lot to do with it, because I’ve never seen it that much in years past.
I’ve also known (lately) people to look at the registries to see what was needed, but then pick out something similar at another store because of the cost.
Parker
Stop whining and appreciate what you do get. You sound like a spoiled, self centered “it’s all about me” type. get off it lady. From the sounds of it, you should be lucky to get anything with your attitude! Some people also don’t appreciate being told what to buy. They’d rather spend the money how they want to.
If your that unhappy with what you get take it back and get what you want.
Paula
I do know what you mean…… its not that you sound ungrateful…… its just that you need certain things that people are not getting for you. Personally….. I always shop off registries…… because I feel good about getting someone something that they ACTUALLY need. I also give gift cards, I know, tacky right……. WRONG…..I found that gift cards we some of the best gifts we received….. that way we were able to go and get those let over things we really needed but did not receive. I ended up having two baby shower, (husbands parents are divorced so MIL needed to throw her “OWN” shower… long story… arg) anyway….. I asked my mil to write we were had register at and state next to that….. gifts that parents and baby really need. I noticed that this seemed to help with people shopping off the registry. The first shower….. I received like 2 things off my registry. The second shower I got almost everything I registered for. People also become very accustom to their stores that they prefer to shop at. I registered at 3 different stores…… different things at each of course…. and I do believe this helped too….. because there was more of a chance that they already shopped there…. which made it more likely they would use the registry. Another good way to make people shop off the registry…… is to include the printed out registry in the invitation. Some older people have a hard time figuring out how to print off the registry’s. Best of luck to you…… and be sure to save receipts!
Rex
I think you should just be happy you got the FIRST shower. Around here it is very rude to expect gifts for the second shower unless there is a VERY large space between the children.
Share the diaper pail
Your not going to carry two diaper bags
A baby does not NEED a mobile
You had the baby, buy the stuff yourself
IE people are buying babywash and lotion because they cost a dollar.
Quinn
You have 40+ things on your registry??? Greedy much? Considering you have already had a FIRST shower surely you still have stuff you can use.I say appreciate what you get and stop complaining that people aren’t buying you what you’re telling them too. A “gift” isn’t what you demand people buy you, it’s what they want to buy you!!